Yesterday I had a moment of reflection.
Let me back up a bit.
I am a stay at home mom, and every so often I start to feel like “is this it?!” Not because I’m bored and caught up with my housework but rather because settling the same fights, washing the same clothes, the same dishes it just gets monotonous. Even if I could buy new clothes and dishes every week, it would still be boring! I like new. I like different. I like exciting. I like a challenge. And sometimes “momming” isn’t all that.
Full confession: the discontent is stronger than I am.
For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord , plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.
Jeremiah 29:11 ESV
He knows. He’s got this. The verses go on.
Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will hear you. You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart.
Jeremiah 29:12-13 ESV
He won’t just reveal it, first I must seek Him, find Him and with all my heart.
Which brings me to why I was reminiscing yesterday.
My oldest goes to school, Kindergarten. 3 days a week. And yesterday I volunteered to help serve lunch at his school. As I drive to his school, I always pass “my” telephone pole.
One October evening, a Saturday night on my weekend off I was driving to meet friends. I was lost and unsure of where I was to be going, so I was speeding because well I was 19 and that’s just how I handled stress. (It hadn’t exactly been my year, all my friends were married and loving life and I was single. Not that I minded, I just didn’t fit anywhere.)
I didn’t know the road and it was raining. I came up over a hill and missed the turn. I overcorrected and lost control of my car. The last thing I remember was seeing headlights coming straight for me. From what I’ve pieced together since, I lost control and hydroplaned up an embankment and sheared a telephone pole halfway up and landed in a field.
“For I know the plans I have for you…”
I walked away from that accident with only a small scratch on my cheek. Terrified and in shock, I was grateful to have crashed into a friend’s field and he and his brother stayed on scene and helped me leave.
My mom took me to the emergency room the next morning.
Every time I see that telephone pole, which is often, I am reminded of this moment. The moment God intervened and kept me safe. I need this reminder sometimes. I’m not “just” a mom, I am raising 2 future men, 2 people who will go out in the world and make their imprint in the people they interact with.
I must admit, this reminder is a painful one. The hip pain I feel on a cold day reminds me of this night.
Today I am grateful for that aching hip, the memories it brings.
I am reminded that on a day like today when grumpy, sleepy toddlers with runny noses and a desperate need for snuggles interrupts my need for hot coffee and a sofa to myself for 5 minutes, that He has a plan for me.
As we are 3 days away from Christmas, from spending time with family and making memories take a long look around at your surroundings. It can change in an instant.
He has a plan.
We are not promised tomorrow. We are not promised an easy life.
He has a plan. He loves you and desires for you to seek Him with your whole heart.
Merry Christmas to you and your families. ❤